Cultivating Greater Love for Yourself and Others
As Leo Tolstoy aptly put it in his famous Anna Karenina, “I think... if it is true that there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kinds of love as there are hearts”. Tolstoy was right, there are so many different kinds of love – whether it’s romantic love, platonic love, or lust. Love can take the form of a friend cooking food for a loved one in the hospital, or a mother looking at her infant child for the first time, or a child sharing their last piece of candy with their best friend. Most people consider love to be “adult” emotion and therefore may not prioritize teaching children about it. However, Dr. Richard Weissbourd from the Harvard Graduate School of Education encourages us to look at love through a different lens when it comes to children; he thinks self-maturity, respect, and deep appreciation are important aspects of love to focus on when cultivating this virtue in children. Teaching children how to cultivate and practice self-love from an early age may be key to raising adolescents and individuals who can then appreciate and love others well.
Psychological Research on Love
Many studies in psychology focus on two concepts based in mindfulness practices: loving-kindness meditation (LKM) and compassion meditation (CM). The practices are used to enhance unconditional, positive emotional states of kindness and compassion. In one such study, participants were randomly assigned to either the LKM condition or an imagery condition. In the LKM condition, people were instructed to imagine two loved ones standing on either side of them and sending their love. Then, they were told to open their eyes and redirect these feelings toward the photograph of a complete stranger. In the imagery condition, participants did almost the same thing except they imagined two acquaintances standing next to them.
They found that Loving Kindness Meditation had a significantly greater effect on explicit and implicit positivity toward strangers. Implicit positivity was measured by response time to a particularly emotionally-charged word.Implicit positivity means that though a person might not be able to express that something has changed, a change in their behavior (like response time) tells us that something has indeed changed within them. They also found that LKM was associated with greater implicit positivity towards the self as well. This study found that a short exercise of loving-kindness meditation could lead to big changes in how people thought of others and themselves.
Emotional Shifts
Another study investigated if Loving Kindness Meditation could help enhance daily experiences of positive emotions. Researchers conducted 60-minute LKM sessions over the course of 7 weeks and found that this specific type of meditation led to shifts in people’s daily experiences of a wide range of positive emotions including love, joy, contentment, gratitude, pride, hope, interest, amusement, and awe. Even more impressive, these emotional shifts lasted for a number of weeks after the course ended.
Teaching Children About Love
Dr. Weissbourd believes that for children and adolescents in particular, love is an important virtue to cultivate intentionally because society tends to focus heavily on preparing young adults for work, but not love. If children were taught to love themselves and others the way they’re taught to work hard, maybe intimate relationships with partners, family, and friends in young adulthood and beyond would prove to be easier, healthier, and more successful.
Creating content that can help children cultivate positive, loving emotions toward the self and others is therefore an essential skill that shouldn’t be shoved off until adulthood. Love, in all of its forms, will be present all throughout life. Therefore, it is crucial that the media children consume teach them about love by depicting healthy relationships with others ways to love and care for themselves.
Recommendations for cultivating love in children and adolescents through media:
Dr. Weissbourd recommends showing children positive representations of healthy relationships.
Create apps that promotes engagement of Loving Kindness Meditation for 5 minutes every day – think of a loving moment in your life, focus on the emotion of that loving feeling, try to project these feelings onto others you visualize.
Cultivate self-love by encouraging writing what you like about yourself!
Create media that demonstrates characters exercising self-love and self-care practices.
Julia Schorn is a second-year Ph.D student in Psychology at UCLA, with a focus in cognitive neuroscience and memory. In her free time she enjoys playing the harp and making science accessible to everyone!
http://juliamarieharp.com/ and https://www.linkedin.com/in/julia-schorn-4128258a/
This blog was originally created to support Baylor University in hosting its Technology Innovation Request for Proposal: Improving Character Strengths of Adolescents through Technology Innovation.
Creating Gratitude-based Apps for Youth
At some point in time, we’ve all experienced that moment when things seem to be going wrong and someone says, “Well, look on the bright side.” They then proceed to run down a list of silver linings we could be focused on instead. If it were really that easy to reframe our perspective, why do so many of us have trouble doing so? The answer may lie in the way our brains are wired. Researchers have discovered that our brains possess a negativity bias; that is, we tend to have stronger emotional responses to negative news than to positive news. For example, we are more upset about losing $10 than we are happy about finding $10 (a phenomenon known as Loss Aversion). Though this negativity bias was once a useful survival tool for our primate ancestors, is can have detrimental effects on our well-being now, and it can increase the likelihood of developing mental illnesses such as depression.
There’s good news though: researchers have discovered that practicing gratitude can counteract our default negativity bias. When we practice gratitude, we are mindfully and intentionally focusing on the positive, which actively rewires the way our brains function. Expressing gratitude brings our awareness to the small, often overlooked, wonderful things happening around us. Psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough conducted the study in which they asked people to keep a daily gratitude journal. Participants were instructed to write down five things, each day, that they appreciated and were grateful for. The study concluded that keeping a gratitude journal increased overall well-being and positive emotions, reduced stress, improved sleep, increased physical health and even boost the immune system!
Gratitude for all ages
Best of all, gratitude can be developed at any age. This means that with a little guidance and support from teachers, parents and/or mentors, children and adolescents can begin dismantling their negativity bias long before they reach adulthood. Dr. Giacomo Bono, a professor of psychology at California State University, Dominguez Hills, suggests that adolescents can cultivate gratitude by journaling; meanwhile younger children might benefit from drawing pictures of things or people they are grateful for. Furthermore, Dr. Bono has also recommended an activity in which students are instructed to identify their top five strengths and then create “Strength Posters” that are hung on the walls of their classroom. The posters serve as powerful reminders of each student’s unique and inherent gifts. Finally, teachers reinforce positive thinking and gratitude by encouraging students to leave a thank-you note on others’ posters.
Using Technology to Facilitate Gratitude
Dr. Bono believes that apps and other educational technologies could help facilitate the expression of gratitude. He suggests that a platform that enables users to create and send digital thank you notes could be a powerful resource to promote and support mental health. Imagine the benefits of a social network based completely on expressing gratitude to loved ones in a streamlined, effortless way; imagine the feeling of receiving a random digital thank you from someone you mentor, and imagine a generation of kids and adolescents who have no trouble expressing their feelings of gratitude! App developers and EdTech can help make this possible, and may even initiate a ripple effect of gratitude.
Dr. Bono is currently working on ways to convert gratitude from an action into a personality trait. He is utilizing a two-pronged approach: first he instills the value of gratitude in students by teaching them about the science of gratitude. Second, he provides students with safe ways to begin practicing gratitude. It’s important to note that children and adolescents may not want to practice gratitude socially because they are not comfortable showing emotions and disclosing personal matters to others. This is why Dr. Bono uses a web-based app called GiveThx, in which students can practice give and receive expressions of thanks.
The more often children and adolescents experience the emotional and neurological rewards of gratitude, the more likely they are to continue engaging in thanks giving actions.Eventually, the actions become an automatic function and turn become an integrated personality trait.
Gratitude is more than saying kind words that make us feel good in the moment, it is a powerful practice that activates the brain’s reward center, combats our default negativity bias, and builds meaning. In youth, gratitude has the power to facilitate meaningful conversations and build social capital; it encourages personal growth, bigger goal setting, and can create a sense of purpose. Young people especially need to know that they matter and they need to feel as though they can make an actual difference in the world. Apps that activate gratitude may be a huge step forward in supporting purpose-driven attitudes in the next generation of young influencers.
Suggestions for developing apps and media that promote gratitude:
Create apps or games that allow people to list the things they are grateful for
Find ways to use technology to express appreciation to others
Focus on strengths and positive emotions versus what has gone wrong
Encourage people to think about their meaning and purpose in life
Use images and video clips that inspire people to contribute to society
H. Wenwen Ni, PhD Candidate, UCLA
Wenwen Ni is a PhD candidate in Social Psychology at UCLA. She is passionate about using psychological research to improve well-being.
https://huolab.psych.ucla.edu/people/
This blog was originally created to support Baylor University in hosting its Technology Innovation Request for Proposal: Improving Character Strengths of Adolescents through Technology Innovation.
Joy
In January of 2018, nearly one in every four Yale freshmen gathered in a lecture hall with a common task for the semester: to learn what brings us joy. The “Psychology and the Good Life”course was created by Yale psychology professor Dr. Laurie Santos, and it has become the most popular class in the university’s 300-year history. The success of the course mirrors a broader human fascination with understanding how to experience and increase well-being in our everyday lives.
What is Joy?
When you hear the word “joy”, you might immediately think of “happiness”—indeed, it is quite common to see these words used interchangeably. However, scholars have suggested that the two terms are distinguishable. Whereas happiness is predominantly derived from external and potentially fleeting sources, joy is thought to be more sustained and reflect a sense of deep connection to something or someone we value. Joy has also been described as a response to something we have been hoping for or anticipating. For example, watching a feel-good comedy might promote our happiness, but being reunited with a loved one after a long separation can bring us joy.
Psychological Research on Joy
Although psychological research on joy has been relatively limited given the complexity of its definition, we do know about some barriers to experiencing joy in our everyday lives.
First, researchers have recognized that humans have a negativity bias, wherein we tend to pay more attention to negative things that happen to us compared to positive things. Think about the last time you had lunch with a friend—did you spend more time talking about your stresses and worries or all the positive things in your life? Although it’s important to seek out social support in times of distress, disproportionately focusing on the negative and ignoring the positive can take a toll on our well-being.
Second, humans exhibit habituation to positive events and experiences—with repeated exposure, pleasant things get less pleasant. Imagine a child who receives a new toy. Although initially overjoyed, after several days the child becomes disinterested and tosses the toy aside. Habituation helps explain why people may have trouble sustaining well-being over time.
How can we combat negativity biases and habituation to lead happier and more joyful lives? It’s important that we not only seek out social support and interaction with others when we’re struggling or when things aren’t going our way (e.g., after a breakup), but also when things are going right. For example, there is scientific evidence that people feel better on days that they tell other people about positive personal events (e.g., receiving phone call from an old friend). Additionally, expressing gratitude(i.e., what we are thankful for) can provide a helpful reminder of all the things we should appreciate in our lives.
Joy in the Connected World of Adolescents
Given the proliferation of electronic communication, it’s also important to think about how we can promote joy and happiness in an increasingly (technologically) connected world. This is especially relevant when we talk about teenagers, who are some of the most prolific users of social media.
Although adults may express widespread fears about the risks of teens online, we also know that technology and social media offer many benefits for teens. The ability to connect with others at the click of a button allows users to stay in touch with and potentially even strengthen friendships. Teens who feel lonely or isolated can also use mobile technologies as a way to more easily interact with peers and receive social support. Additionally, mobile technologies can offer adolescents opportunities to explore different personal identities and express themselves creatively, which can contribute to a stronger sense of self.
On the other hand, there are certain ways that excessive phone use and online activity can undermine adolescents’ joy and happiness. When I asked Dr. Laurie Santos, Yale professor and creator of the new Psychology and the Good Life course, about potential downsides of teen media usage, she also highlighted its effects on health and face-to-face interactions. Adolescents who spend more time on social media sleep less and sometimes even report more emotional distress (e.g., depressive symptoms). For example, whereas using social media to actively connect with others can promote well-being, a lot of passive browsing (e.g., scrolling through Instagram) can create envy and negative mood. This raises an important issue for tech developers looking to create media or apps geared at children and adolescents. Santos notes that we need to carefully “balance any benefits that come from an app [with] the downside of more phone use overall,” especially in light of evidence that increased use of mobile devices predicts less enjoyable face-to-face interactions.
Taking Action
So, how can we find more joy in our daily lives? Here are a few tips based on what we know from the research.
1. Keep a gratitude journal. Every day, take time to reflect on what you are grateful for and log it in a journal. Even if it’s only for five minutes, this exercise can help you keep perspective on all the things you have to appreciate in life.
2. Help others. Although there are times we are stressed out and need support from others, research shows that holding doors for strangers, doing volunteer work, and helping out our friends all contribute to better well-being, even among teens and young adults.
3. Balance online and offline time. Given that online venues offer both opportunities and risks, the question is less about whether we should spend any time online and more about how and when we’re spending time online. Disconnecting before bed might be especially important, and being intentional and cognizant about connecting rather than comparing ourselves is likely to create a more positive experience.
Hannah Schacter is a National Science Foundation Postdoctoral Research Fellow in the University of Southern California Department of Psychology. Her research examines how adolescents' interpersonal relationships contribute to their health and well-being across varying social contexts. To learn more, please visit www.hannahschacter.com.
This blog was originally created to support Baylor University in hosting its Technology Innovation Request for Proposal: Improving Character Strengths of Adolescents through Technology Innovation.