Generosity
“It is the heart that does the giving; the fingers only let go.” —Nigerian proverb
One of the most beautiful things about true generosity is that it comes from the heart. More than what you give, it is about being giving— approaching the world and your relationships with a feeling of abundance and a readiness to give what you can to make others’ lives even just a little bit better.
What is generosity, really?
According to the University of Notre Dame’s Science of Generosity Project, generosity is “the virtue of giving good things to others freely and abundantly.”
This definition is really helpful because it breaks down generosity into two essential components:
1) Giving good things to others
Despite what many people might think, it doesn’t take a large donation to be generous. You can be generous in many ways: with your time, with your love and support, with your things. All it takes is giving a good thing (however you define that!) to someone else.
2) Giving them freely and abundantly
Giving freely means giving without reservations, without strings attached or any expectations of being given anything in return. Giving abundantly means giving often and from a place where you feel that you have enough of what you want to give — a smile, a hot meal, a moment from your day — for yourself and for others. This is what makes giving a gift, rather than a burden.
What can science tell us about generosity?
The Greater Good Science Center, based at the University of California, Berkeley, conducted an extensive review of The Science of Generosity. Here are a few of their key takeaways.
Giving makes you happy.
People report being happier when they spend money on others rather than themselves, both in the lab and in the real world, regardless of the amount of money (even $5 was enough to make a difference!). A study with male undergraduates found that helping other students pick up spilled objects uplifted their mood, and a study with over 29,000 adults found that people who volunteered for religious organizations were happier than people who did not.
Happiness makes you give.
Students who recalled a time they had spent money on someone else felt happier. What’s more, those that reported feeling happiest were most likely to spend money given to them during the experiment on someone else, suggesting a positive feedback loop between happiness and giving. This may apply across cultures too — data from 136 countries showed that people who give to charity are happier. In another study, participants who completed a writing task that made them feel positive feelings were more motivated to perform acts of kindness for others than participants who completed a neutral writing task.
Giving is good for your health.
A study of 1,118 diverse older adults in New York City found that giving social support was associated with better health, and that more generous people had better health regardless of the support that they themselves received. Another study found that participants who performed acts of kindness for others over a period of six weeks reported more positive emotions and gene transcriptional changes that are associated with positive health outcomes. Giving support can also reduce your stress response by dampening sympathetic nervous system activity.
Giving is good for your relationships.
A daily diary study with 69 romantic couples found that acts of putting your partner first, or acts of sacrifice, were associated with greater positive emotions. Moreover, the people who did not expect or want sacrifice in return for their own reported the greatest relationship satisfaction.
Emotions that connect you to others or to the natural world inspire generosity.
Empathy, compassion, connectedness, and gratitude— emotions that connect you to others — have been found to motivate people to cooperate more, give more, and help more. Awe and elevation, emotions that take you outside of yourself, were also found to result in greater willingness to volunteer and help strangers.
How can we cultivate generosity through digital media?
1) Nurture emotions that support generosity. Focus on ways that media might be able to prompt or predispose us to the emotions that result in a more generous mindset: happiness, empathy, compassion, connectedness, gratitude, awe, and elation. This insight has deep roots in philosophical and religious traditions as well. According to the Dalai Lama XIV, “Generosity is the most natural outward expression of an inner attitude of compassion and loving-kindness.”
2) Tie generosity into identity. Research suggests that people are more willing to give when they see generosity as a part of who they are. Perhaps digital media can ask us to perform small acts of kindness for others, or point out the things we already do, and redefine generosity as something that we already have within us.
3) Build in reflection. A meta-analysis showed that community service only had positive effects on adolescent’s academic, personal, social, and civic achievement when they reflected on the meaning of the experiences. Maximize the benefits of giving by prompting moments of reflection.
4) Teach mindful giving. Most of us know that giving is good, but we don’t necessarily know how to give freely or abundantly. Digital media might be able to help teach us how by giving structured cues that encourage us to step outside of ourselves, to give without needing to be appreciated for it, or needing it to be received in a certain way. Letting go of expectations and learning how to give simply because it feels good and is part of who you want to be in the world can be a source of growth and joy.
5) Create community. Part of the power of giving is the positive ripple effect it can have in our relationships and community. Generosity is contagious. Teenagers give more when they think their peers also give, and people also feel good (even elated!) when witnessing acts of kindness that others perform. By connecting us in new and creative ways, digital media can help start and spread those ripples.
Generosity as a strength
Performing even the smallest acts of generosity can make a difference in your health and happiness. Sharon Salzberg, a meditation teacher and writer, goes even farther. She argues fiercely and beautifully that generosity is a strength, “a powerful force, an inner resource, a real tool for changing how we relate to ourselves, to others and to our world.”
Rather than passively “giving up” something for someone else, generosity is really about deciding to “let go.” It is freeing and empowering to give without feeling attached to an outcome or a need to be appreciated for it. Even better, the more you give love and generosity, the more you inspire love and generosity in others. Here lies the true strength in generosity. Not only can it make us happier and healthier as individuals, but it can be a powerful tool for positive change in our relationships, community, and society.
Laura Hazlett is a first year PhD student in Social Psychology at UCLA. She studies how social connection affects our brains and bodies, and why it has such a powerful effect on our health. In her free time, Laura loves cooking for friends, going for long runs, listening to her favorite podcasts, and traveling.
Laura is part of the Social and Affective Neuroscience Lab: https://sanlab.psych.ucla.edu/
This blog was originally created to support Baylor University in hosting its Technology Innovation Request for Proposal: Improving Character Strengths of Adolescents through Technology Innovation.
Joy
In January of 2018, nearly one in every four Yale freshmen gathered in a lecture hall with a common task for the semester: to learn what brings us joy. The “Psychology and the Good Life”course was created by Yale psychology professor Dr. Laurie Santos, and it has become the most popular class in the university’s 300-year history. The success of the course mirrors a broader human fascination with understanding how to experience and increase well-being in our everyday lives.
What is Joy?
When you hear the word “joy”, you might immediately think of “happiness”—indeed, it is quite common to see these words used interchangeably. However, scholars have suggested that the two terms are distinguishable. Whereas happiness is predominantly derived from external and potentially fleeting sources, joy is thought to be more sustained and reflect a sense of deep connection to something or someone we value. Joy has also been described as a response to something we have been hoping for or anticipating. For example, watching a feel-good comedy might promote our happiness, but being reunited with a loved one after a long separation can bring us joy.
Psychological Research on Joy
Although psychological research on joy has been relatively limited given the complexity of its definition, we do know about some barriers to experiencing joy in our everyday lives.
First, researchers have recognized that humans have a negativity bias, wherein we tend to pay more attention to negative things that happen to us compared to positive things. Think about the last time you had lunch with a friend—did you spend more time talking about your stresses and worries or all the positive things in your life? Although it’s important to seek out social support in times of distress, disproportionately focusing on the negative and ignoring the positive can take a toll on our well-being.
Second, humans exhibit habituation to positive events and experiences—with repeated exposure, pleasant things get less pleasant. Imagine a child who receives a new toy. Although initially overjoyed, after several days the child becomes disinterested and tosses the toy aside. Habituation helps explain why people may have trouble sustaining well-being over time.
How can we combat negativity biases and habituation to lead happier and more joyful lives? It’s important that we not only seek out social support and interaction with others when we’re struggling or when things aren’t going our way (e.g., after a breakup), but also when things are going right. For example, there is scientific evidence that people feel better on days that they tell other people about positive personal events (e.g., receiving phone call from an old friend). Additionally, expressing gratitude(i.e., what we are thankful for) can provide a helpful reminder of all the things we should appreciate in our lives.
Joy in the Connected World of Adolescents
Given the proliferation of electronic communication, it’s also important to think about how we can promote joy and happiness in an increasingly (technologically) connected world. This is especially relevant when we talk about teenagers, who are some of the most prolific users of social media.
Although adults may express widespread fears about the risks of teens online, we also know that technology and social media offer many benefits for teens. The ability to connect with others at the click of a button allows users to stay in touch with and potentially even strengthen friendships. Teens who feel lonely or isolated can also use mobile technologies as a way to more easily interact with peers and receive social support. Additionally, mobile technologies can offer adolescents opportunities to explore different personal identities and express themselves creatively, which can contribute to a stronger sense of self.
On the other hand, there are certain ways that excessive phone use and online activity can undermine adolescents’ joy and happiness. When I asked Dr. Laurie Santos, Yale professor and creator of the new Psychology and the Good Life course, about potential downsides of teen media usage, she also highlighted its effects on health and face-to-face interactions. Adolescents who spend more time on social media sleep less and sometimes even report more emotional distress (e.g., depressive symptoms). For example, whereas using social media to actively connect with others can promote well-being, a lot of passive browsing (e.g., scrolling through Instagram) can create envy and negative mood. This raises an important issue for tech developers looking to create media or apps geared at children and adolescents. Santos notes that we need to carefully “balance any benefits that come from an app [with] the downside of more phone use overall,” especially in light of evidence that increased use of mobile devices predicts less enjoyable face-to-face interactions.
Taking Action
So, how can we find more joy in our daily lives? Here are a few tips based on what we know from the research.
1. Keep a gratitude journal. Every day, take time to reflect on what you are grateful for and log it in a journal. Even if it’s only for five minutes, this exercise can help you keep perspective on all the things you have to appreciate in life.
2. Help others. Although there are times we are stressed out and need support from others, research shows that holding doors for strangers, doing volunteer work, and helping out our friends all contribute to better well-being, even among teens and young adults.
3. Balance online and offline time. Given that online venues offer both opportunities and risks, the question is less about whether we should spend any time online and more about how and when we’re spending time online. Disconnecting before bed might be especially important, and being intentional and cognizant about connecting rather than comparing ourselves is likely to create a more positive experience.
Hannah Schacter is a National Science Foundation Postdoctoral Research Fellow in the University of Southern California Department of Psychology. Her research examines how adolescents' interpersonal relationships contribute to their health and well-being across varying social contexts. To learn more, please visit www.hannahschacter.com.
This blog was originally created to support Baylor University in hosting its Technology Innovation Request for Proposal: Improving Character Strengths of Adolescents through Technology Innovation.