Storyteller Insights: Differing Perceptions of Foster Care Portrayals
Youth with first-hand foster care experience were 3.43 times more likely to believe the portrayal of foster youth in the movie “Instant Family” was accurate compared to youth with no first-hand foster care experience.
This research snapshot highlights a striking revelation: youth with foster care experience are over three times more likely to view Instant Family as an accurate depiction compared to those who have never experienced foster care. This underscores a crucial point—real stories resonate.
The film was inspired by the personal adoption journey of director Sean Anders, who also wrote the screenplay (with John Morris) and served as one of its producers. On the other hand, those unfamiliar with the system approach the film with skepticism, illustrating the need for media to bridge the gap between fiction and reality.
A SHIFT IN FOCUS
In a world where media shapes perceptions, the portrayal of foster care has long been mired in stereotypes, casting a shadow over the real experiences of those within the system. In the past, for example, issues like child abuse and neglect have dominated storylines, painting a picture of dysfunction. Yet, films like Instant Family break this mold. These narratives veer away from one-dimensional portrayals, offering a richer, more empathetic view of the foster care experience.
This research snapshot shows that in order to create positively impactful stories that resonate with audiences, storytellers must engage those who have lived experience with the complex human and social dynamics they seek to represent. Instant Family and other nuanced portrayals of the foster care system challenge long standing misconceptions, and pave the way for a more informed and empathetic understanding of foster care by embracing authenticity over cliché.
Below we break down the findings.
THE STUDY
This research snapshot is based on the findings from a larger research study, in which we surveyed 42 youth, aged 18-26, across California. We examined the differences in how young people with foster care experience and those without foster care experience perceived the accuracy of the depictions of foster care included in Instant Family and other, recently released films that depict the system. For Instant Family, participants viewed a scene that featured one of the children fostered by the protagonists (description below). The data were then analyzed to identify significant differences.
Our findings reveal a profound divide in perceptions of Instant Family between youth with and without foster care experience. Those with firsthand experience found the film's portrayal of foster youth to be strikingly authentic, identifying closely with the characters' emotional journeys, especially in scenes depicting complex feelings like betrayal and disappointment. They lauded the film for mirroring the multifaceted realities of life within the foster care system.
Media Example Synopsis: Instant Family
Instant Family follows the story of two foster parents, Pete and Ellie, who unexpectedly foster three siblings whom they later adopt at the end of the film. The specific scene shown to survey participants takes place after a court hearing where Pete and Ellie attempt to gain legal custody of the three foster children through adoption. The eldest of the foster children, Lizzie, reads a statement to the judge, detailing a negative experience with the foster parents, resulting in the children being placed back into the custody of their biological mother. The next day, the social workers on the case arrive with unexpected news–that the children’s biological mother was not ready to take them back. It becomes apparent that Lizzie took the initiative to complete the paperwork for the family’s reunification, despite her mother’s renewed struggle with her substance addiction. Overwhelmed by this revelation, Lizzie runs away in tears, with Pete and Ellie chasing after her. They eventually catch up with her and offer reassurance of their love.
FINDINGS DISCUSSION
Our findings reveal a profound divide in perceptions of Instant Family between youth with and without foster care experience. Those with firsthand experience found the film's portrayal of foster youth to be strikingly authentic, identifying closely with the characters' emotional journeys, especially in scenes depicting complex feelings like betrayal and disappointment. They lauded the film for mirroring the multifaceted realities of life within the foster care system.
“I have been in this situation before and the way the actress portrayed the foster youth’s betrayal felt so similar and real. It was an accurate representation…the girl was behaving appropriately to her situation, but people [who are] unaware of the care system might have perceived this reaction as negative and over emotional.”
In contrast, those unfamiliar with foster care were more critical, viewing the movie as an overly idealized representation. They pointed out the disparities in the foster care system, such as varying levels of support and resources, and felt the film offered a rosier picture than the actual experiences. This difference in perspective underscores the impact of personal experiences on media interpretation, especially around sensitive and complex issues like foster care.
“There is so much case to case variation, but foster parents don’t often have the money/resources for the “perfect” house, case workers aren’t always so engaged with youth, etc. This clip makes foster care look a lot better than reality. It is a hopeful view of foster youth (including reunification), but maybe not the most accurate.”
CALL TO ACTION: The findings highlighted in this research snapshot demonstrate the need for more accurate representations of the foster care system in media that serve to bridge the gap between perception and reality. In addition, many individuals’ views and behaviors are heavily influenced by the stories they encounter in film and TV. Emphasizing harmful stereotypes of foster youth in media can contribute to the further stigmatization of foster youth and discourage potential foster parents. Storytellers can play a vital role in promoting a more informed and compassionate understanding of foster care.
“Children and young adults in foster care are often depicted as villains in media. These negative images are rooted in deficit-laden ideas of who they are and reified through harmful stereotypes and tropes.”
“I think when people hear the words ‘foster care’ it brings to mind a lot of negativity and fear, and what I found in my travels through the system, over and over again, is that you meet the kids, and you go ‘Oh, they’re just kids. They’re just kids, and they need families and they need love, and they have love to give, just like any other kids.”
Recommendations for Storytellers
We offer the following recommendations for storytellers:
Consult with People with Lived Experiences: Collaborate with foster youth, foster parents, biological parents, and case workers who have experienced the foster care system firsthand to ensure that stories are authentic to real-life experiences.
Diversify Representation: Incorporate a broader spectrum of experiences and stories related to foster care, including positive and nuanced portrayals, to counteract the perpetuation of negative stereotypes.
Raise Awareness: Use storytelling as a means to raise awareness about the foster care system, its challenges, and its successes. This can help create a more informed and empathetic public.
Challenge Stereotypes: Consciously challenge and debunk stereotypes and biases that have been historically perpetuated in media. Showcase the positive contributions of foster parents, case workers, and the real-life experiences of foster youth being normal kids rather than overly inspiring and resilient or hopeless “charity cases.”
By adopting these recommendations, storytellers can play a crucial role in reshaping public perceptions of the foster care system and contributing to a more accurate and compassionate understanding of this important social issue.
Authors: Demontea Thompson, Emma Terrell, Dr. Alisha J. Hines
Acknowledgments
This research was funded by:
Many thanks to CSS interns Jessica Dam and Fernando Becerra for their assistance with this study. Thank you to the Center for Scholars & Storytellers Lab, an amazing group of people who consistently helped refine the data collection and analysis in this project.
Thank you to our Advisory Council, Taylor Dudley, Thomas Lee, Nicole Cadena, Cheyenne Cobb, and Mike Farrah who mentored and guided us along the way toward understanding the impetus of this work and deepening our understanding of the populations we aim to impact.
To the survey respondents, we thank you for shedding light on the issues presented in the original survey. And to the foster care community, thank you for being vocal about what matters to you.
To see the methodology and references for this report, click here.
To see our Foster Care and Adoption Toolkit, click here.
Foster Youth Storytelling: Less Vulnerability, More Resiliency
Both news and popular media are used to portraying foster youth as permanently damaged, either by the circumstances that led them to foster care and/or by the broken system that failed them.
Tune into any crime series for an episode or two and odds are you’ll come upon at least one plot line involving foster youth. After all, we assume that these young people make perfect characters for crime-and-punishment storytelling: they’re vulnerable, abandoned, and hopeless. The Law & Order franchise, and Law & Order: SVU in particular, regularly feature these types of storylines. Both news and popular media are used to portraying foster youth as permanently damaged, either by the circumstances that led them to foster care and/or by the broken system that failed them (for instance Dexter and Killing Eve). The central characters of both Dexter and Killing Eve are both cold-blooded killers shaped by their experiences as foster children. As a result, transition age foster youth are stigmatized and “otherized,” worth saving but never really capable of integrating into families and communities.
When they are not being demonized, the experiences of foster youth are often trivialized instead. From Diff’rent Strokes, to The Blind Side, we’ve seen the temptation to fast forward to the simplistic, happy ending without the complex, difficult aspects of healthy development and identity formation. These storylines don’t leave room to depict the varied resources and supports that transition-age foster youth need to thrive, or the ways in which their needs and desires are similar to other adolescents.
Each of these storylines - the hopeless and the minimized - demand greater nuance. A good example of how to do it is The Fosters (2013-2018). The show took a big step towards compelling storytelling about foster youth with a modern-family dynamic that avoided many of the common traps. The characters faced abandonment, abusive situations, and trust issues, but in ways that spoke to the complexities of finding your footing on the way to adulthood when you don’t have the usual connections to family and a stable home. It also demonstrated the resiliency of foster youth who have the right supports, like stable, ongoing relationships and a sense of community.
Over the course of its five seasons, The Fosters also showed the challenges and experiences that adolescents have in common, whether fostered or not. These included struggles like sibling rivalry, bullying, and racism, as well as the joyful discovery of talents, passions, and sexualities.
Depicting these shared challenges and opportunities for growth brought the characters out of the realm of “the other” and made them identifiable, winning audience fandom and critical acclaim in the process.
Our research provides a framework for better, more nuanced storytelling when it comes to portrayals of transition-age foster youth. Here are some ideas for how to do it:
Include the ways in which foster youth are similar to other adolescents, not just what makes them different. Realistic storytelling should show the everyday challenges and discoveries transition-age foster youth face as they become adults.
Show what foster youth need to make their journey to adulthood happy and successful. Don’t just depict their adolescence as a time to survive, but as a time to thrive, when they have caring relationships and stable living situations.
Avoid the overly simplistic “shame and blame” plots when it comes to birth and foster parents. Instead, place foster youth’s experiences within a larger narrative about the racial and economic inequalities that set the stage for a youth’s trajectory.
Widen the lens beyond the family and show community connections. The reality is that foster youth are often disconnected from the communities around them, and this can be as challenging as the lack of family. Make the place they live a protagonist too—opening up new opportunities for the central characters to grow, and new possibilities for original stories.
Freelancer
Adopt: A New Perspective
Being the youngest child in a sibling group of five brings some unique challenges that can build character, a thick skin, and a can-do attitude. Some "good ol' fashioned" ribbing from older siblings or running as fast as you can to keep up with the cool older brothers never hurt anyone. I hold those memories dear, and I am grateful for them, as they helped to shape me into who I am today. But in retrospect now as an adoptive parent and social worker in the field of foster care and adoption, what I remember as "good ol' fashioned ribbing" sheds new light. My older siblings would say to me, "Mom and Dad haven't told you yet, but you were adopted." I remember feeling scared about what that meant, too young to quite understand. But what I knew for sure was they were attempting to convey bad news, and it revealed I didn't belong in the same way the older four did. I actually was quite younger than the older four and was a pleasant surprise to my parents, as they thought their family was complete at four children. Needless to say, I joined the Guilfoyle family the same way the rest of the crew did and it was not through adoption.
Where did my siblings learn to believe that adoption was something negative? Media has a major influence in our society, establishing norms and beliefs representing how we see ourselves and how we see "others." These messages are then passed on through our relationships within our families, neighborhoods and communities. While my experiences may have been in the 1970s the negative connotations, some 50 years later, still exist and are easily slipped in as a joke or passing comment without a second thought to their effects.
Recently on Good Morning America, host Amy Robach interviewed actors Martin Freeman and Daisy Haggard from the FX show "Breeders," which is described as a dark and honest look at parenting. The focus of the interview was on the actors’ and host’s children in real life.
In the episode clip that followed, the parents are chatting about parenting woes. The wife says to her husband, "Should we just give the kids up for adoption?" Her husband responds with "Done." And they laugh.
In 2021, adoption continues to be used as a punch line by writers in TV and film. When I hear "jokes" like this it takes my breath away—not because of any leftover anxiety from my older siblings’ teasing—but because I have felt and seen, first hand, the effects via my experiences as an adoptive parent as well as a social worker who has assisted children and families on their own adoption journeys. I immediately think how this "joke" lands on and impacts these children and my son. What does it say to a parent who has made a plan of adoption for their child? Such a difficult, heart-wrenching decision should not be made into a punchline. What does it convey to a child or adult adoptee about their adoption experience and their place in their family? I must have done something wrong. I must have been bad.
I hear the counterargument ringing in my ears as I type, and it goes something like this: "Kids need to toughen up these days. We are creating wimpy kids. Everyone is so easily offended, lately." Truthfully, I do not want to create an argument through this blog, instigating each person to defend their opinion. Rather, I am hoping for writers to consider not using adoption as a punch line because they know there are real children and real adults who have a connection to adoption in their viewing audience. Some of these children are in foster care waiting for a family to say "YES" to their adoption plan and certainly have experienced enough in their short lives. Being on the other end of a "joke" in media or learned through media is cruel.
I believe kids can build resiliency, character, perseverance and determination from healthy and natural outlets and experiences without being figuratively “poked in the eye” with intention.
Consider the response to seeing an adult walk up to a child and purposefully poking them in the eye, causing the child to cry, believing they did something wrong to deserve it. Would the response be, “Buck up,” or “It will make you tougher for the road ahead” or “It builds character”? Participating in a sport or learning to play an instrument, whiffing at strike three, or forgetting the notes to a song and coming back to try again and again, build those characteristics we see as valuable. Children have plenty of real-life experiences to draw from to assist in building healthy resilience, fortitude and strength. Let us not create artificial and hurtful experiences through media that beat them down.
Our son does not need to live through punchlines about adoption to build his resilience. He does not need to be exploited through media, with other children learning these punchlines and using them on the playground to build his character. My hope is that writers and actors will keep in mind that their audience includes families and children with connections to adoption, and understand that perpetuating negative connotations impact the real feelings of real people.
When we know better, we all have it in us to do better.
Actionable Insights
Content creators have an opportunity to influence viewers with their storylines and narratives about adoption. Using adoption as a punch line by suggesting a child is less than because of their connection to adoption or that birth parents created a plan of adoption for their child as a flippant decision can negatively impact the self-image of a large number of children and adults. The implications of a content creator’s writing can also create positive change for how adoption is perceived by an adoptee, prospective adoptive parent, birth parent, and peers on the playground. Using positive adoption language, not stereotyping adoptees or birth parents, and simply removing adoption in any format as a punch line provides an opportunity to create positive change in our community.
Consider these statistics:
There are approximately 120,000 children just in the United States in foster care waiting to be adopted.
One out of every 25 US families with children has a child who joined their family through adoption. About half of these families have both children through birth and adoption (US Census).
Approximately 7 million Americans were adopted.
Around 140,000 children are adopted by American families each year.
Nearly 100 million Americans have adoption in their immediate family, whether this includes adopting, placing a child, or being adopted.
Six in 10 Americans have personal experience with adoption, meaning they themselves, a family member, or a close friend was adopted, adopted a child, or placed a child for adoption.
It is estimated that between 1 and 2 million couples are waiting to adopt, yet only 4% of women with unwanted pregnancies make the decision to place their children through adoption.
On average, children wait 3 years for an adoptive family and the average child waiting for an adoptive family is 8 years old.
Marianne Guilfoyle
Chief Innovations Officer, Allies for every child
Foster or Otherwise, Parenting is Parenting: Love, care, and try your best
Media content has the power to shape perceptions and views on a mass scale. Unfortunately, media portrayals of youth in foster care are often negative and perpetuate unhelpful stereotypes. In this special blog series, The Center for Scholars and Storytellers is exploring this topic from multiple perspectives to inform and inspire the creation of accurate, empowering, and socially responsible media portrayals of foster care.
Marianne Guilfoyle, Chief Innovations Officer at LA-based Allies for Every Child and a key foster care advisor to the Center for Scholars and Storytellers, often remarks: “If I had a nickel for every person who said they had considered being foster parents…” And she is right. It’s not that people haven’t considered fostering, it’s that they’ve never seriously considered it. And far too often, their reason is that they don’t think they could do it. Indeed, multi-racial, same-sex couple Ching-chu Hu and Jim Van-Reeth, who have adopted four children through the foster care system, say they constantly hear comments such as “Oh, I could never do that” or “You’re stronger than me!” Their thoughts on this? “We believe most people on the planet naturally have the necessary tools to be foster parents -- to love and nurture a child.” Positive media portrayal of fostering can play a large role in empowering people to see that they can indeed foster. We need to see more of these stories.
Another honest response they get from people interested in adoption are fears that adopting from the system is too “dangerous”, and international adoption will get you “safer” children with “less issues.” To this, Hu and Van-Reeth remark; “Children are amazingly resilient, and the issues we all face as parents are strikingly similar, whether a child is from the foster care system, international adoption, or is a biological child. The primary difference is that we came into it expecting challenges, whereas those with biological children may be caught off guard by difficulties if they arise.” Rich Valenza, founder of Raise a Child and himself a father of two children he adopted through the foster care system, echoed this sentiment, reflecting on how the conversations with other parents at school drop-off were often quite therapeutic. He noticed, “Whether raising your birth children or children through foster care, the parenting problems you face are pretty similar! You have expectations of what raising a child will be like, but the reality quickly sinks in for both scenarios that it’s often not the way you planned. You’ll never be fully prepared. You likely won’t hear “thank you for giving me an amazing life” from your foster children as you tuck them into bed, but it’s a safe bet that you won’t hear that from your birth children either.” Content creators should strive to show the parenting commonalities in raising children, from the struggles to the joys, regardless of how their children entered their lives.
But this is not to dismiss the trauma that foster children experience in leaving their home, and whatever difficult life they may have endured previous to entering foster care (or within foster care). And this needs to be appropriately reflected in media, too. Valenza is a proud proponent of family therapy and removing all associated stigma, “Whether you have birth or foster children, all families can benefit from therapy-- it needs to be seen as a bonus to your life, an education into yourself.” In addition to recruiting foster parents, Raise a Child makes an effort to continually support parents throughout the foster/adoption process. They are currently partnered with LA-based Allies for Every Child on a pilot program that provides extra support and training to remind parents, for instance, that when problems arise, “this is not about me, this is about the needs of the child.” Portraying counseling as normative in fictional media could go a long way in reducing the stigma of seeking professional help, both for parents and children.
One of the biggest lessons that Hu and Van-Reeth encountered over the years was learning, accepting, and supporting the perspectives of the foster children’s previous lives, and not judging the biological parents (who often grew up in similar situations). They explain, “No matter how horrific we may find their previous life, it was still their home, their reality, their “comfortable” environment. It is the lives they were used to, and anything different, no matter how safe, how loving, how supportive, is still different, unusual, and unfamiliar to their world. And it takes a lot of time and nurturing for them to trust a safe and loving environment.”
Worrying that a foster child you hope to adopt might be reunified with their birth family is another fear that can lead people to pursue private or international adoption instead. Indeed, Hu and Van-Reeth went through this in the most heart-wrenching way; “Losing our 18 month old son-who we had had since day one- to his birth parents who we knew were falling back into drugs, was the hardest moment in our fostering journey. Especially the fact that as foster parents we felt we had no voice, no “seat” at the judicial table. Those scars left indelible memories.” Ultimately, their son did end up returning back to their home, and is now adopted by the Hu and Van-Reeth. Those interested in fostering and adoption and those creating media about foster care should understand that there are different paths to take, depending on the long-term option desired, and the amount of potential heartbreak you are willing to risk. Media content can help by portraying all types of fostering, including:
A foster parent that just fosters with no intention of adopting (roles which are very much needed since reunification with the birth family is the primary goal for children entering into the foster care system.)
A foster/adoptive parent who takes in foster children who might become available for adoption (and therefore would adopt the child if it was a good fit), but the child could instead be reunified with their birth family.
An adoptive-only parent who will only take a child into their home if they are already classified as “adoptive,” meaning the birth parents have terminated their parental rights.
Finally, another reason people are hesitant to become foster parents is because they’re afraid they won’t be good enough, or they will mess up as a parent. But ultimately, as Velenza correctly puts it, “Worrying about being good enough parent is exactly what will make someone a good foster parent. This shows that they are conscious of their role, and it shows they care. And ultimately, that is what it takes.”
For foster parents, there are countless instances along the way that remind you you’re doing a great job. For Valenza, as his children get older he finds he gets immeasurable pride from seeing them thrive, and even beginning to realize and appreciate the work he does for the foster care community. As Hu and Van-Reeth reflect; “It’s the small things: it’s seeing them come out of their shells, adjusting, being nurtured, opening up, and giving a hug. It’s seeing them bring their defenses down, grow, and become stronger and more comfortable with the world around them. It’s giving them first-time experiences, whether that’s flying on a plane, going to a park, or even, shockingly, giving them breakfast.”
Actionable Insights
Write and cast realistic, everyday people as foster parents who aren’t perfect people, but care and are doing their best.
- Media that gets it right: Instant Family - the couple is refreshingly honest in their uncertainty and process to fostering, making them extremely relatable.
Show the similar joys and struggles that parents face, regardless of whether their children are biological, adopted internationally/privately, or from the foster care system.
Normalize seeking counseling and therapy, show how it is beneficial and healthy for the entire family.
Colleen Russo Johnson, PhD
Senior Fellow of the Center for Scholars & Storytellers
This blog series is supported in part by the UCLA Pritzker Center for Strengthening Children and Families.
Tragic is Magic: Reclaiming My Story
Tragic is Magic: Reclaiming My Story
Media content has the power to shape perceptions and views on a mass scale. Unfortunately, media portrayals of youth in foster care are often negative and perpetuate unhelpful stereotypes. In this special blog series, The Center for Scholars and Storytellers is exploring this topic from multiple perspectives to inform and inspire the creation of accurate, empowering, and socially responsible media portrayals of foster care.
Editor’s Note: As I set off on this journey to create a series of blogs on foster care for content creators, I assumed I would approach it like I do most topics, by digging first and foremost into academic research. After conducting dozens of interviews, however, it became abundantly clear that the best way to encourage accurate depictions of foster care is to hear from those who have been directly impacted by the foster care system. It’s true, like many topics, that if you’ve met one person who has been in foster care, you’ve met one person who has been in foster care. You can’t generalize. And that is precisely why through this series of blogs I am striving to bring you multiple stories and perspectives, some of which may surprise you. Today, I am honored to bring you an experience directly from the person who experienced it, the incredible Elexus Hunter.
I often find myself thinking back to the day I entered foster care. Sometimes I just need to be reminded of how this all started to see how far I’ve come.
I was 16 years old, and my 7-year old sister was clinging to my right leg and my 12-year old brother standing to the left of me - all of us in a state of stupor - not moving a muscle. We stood in the common area of Child Protection Services in San Francisco, CA, just waiting for what felt like an eternity for someone to come get us.
Unlike the loaded images most people have of social workers coming into homes and whisking taking kids away, I was the one who brought us there. I was the one who insisted we leave.
But I’ll never forget the sense of freedom of no longer being under the rule of our abusers at home, juxtaposed with the panging guilt I felt for bringing us into the system. My siblings were understandably scared and angry at me. But I knew I had to proceed forward and couldn’t look back. There had to be a light at the end of all of this. I could feel it.
What I hadn’t anticipated, however, was how difficult the system would be. That there is always someone to answer to, especially when you are a ward of the state. There wasn’t a manual to how this “system” works, you just had to do whatever was asked of you. Countless court hearings, lawyers, and social workers every time I had to go to court. Moving from house to house in constant fear of whether my siblings and I could stay together, and never having the room to be comfortable. It felt like everyone turned against me-- like I was this resentful teenager with no self control, and that my truth was not real, merely an illusion.
Simply put, my fight for our freedom from abuse was exhausting.
This is what happens when you try and get help.
I’ll never forget my mother regaining custody of my younger siblings; I cried for the both of them because I had nothing left in me to fight for them and save them. It crushed my heart, but I had to let go. Ultimately, it let me enjoy more personal freedom and focus on myself for the first time. I suddenly had the power to be a kid for once in my life and enjoy the end of my highschool experience. I felt like I crammed an entire 16 years into a year and half time span.
As nice as it was, the absence of someone else loving me and supporting me was second to none. The system, in my experience, was not there to coddle you, embrace you, or provide significant financial freedom upon departure.
This mattered, because against the odds of youth in foster care, I was accepted to multiple colleges. Even though California had recently extended financial assistance for youth in foster care to age 21, this was not information provided to me, even when I inquired about financial help for college. But I was set on attending college so I sacrificed my social life to work more hours and avoided spending on any non-essentials just to get enough funding for me to pay for college. I also spent endless nights applying to scholarships-- Google became my best friend. I googled every scholarship that I could possibly find and applied. In the end, I was awarded enough money to pay off 4 years of college.
It was a love and hate relationship while being in the “system” because it’s set up for freedom from unsafe home lives, but the journey is anything from promising. It can make or break you.
To be labeled as a foster youth in this country frames us as inconsistent, non-dreamers, with no goals and false hope. So we survive by any means necessary to make it out - in hopes that someone sees us for our true self and not our circumstances. Because we do matter.
Since aging out of foster care, I’ve graduated from high school top of my class with a 3.80 GPA, and graduated from Clark Atlanta University with honors, and a job offer. But I felt a responsibility and desire to give back to those in similar situations. Therefore, I started my own nonprofit called Tragic is Magic-- a community organization geared to helping California youth in foster care as they age out of the system, as they navigate receiving financial help and mental health support.
We’re all in this together. I went against the odds of the system and want to empower others to do the same. I refused to be viewed as an entity of shame, and the only “statistic” I want to be is one of success.
I chose my ending-- a magical one.
Advice for content creators:
Flip the script - turn tragic into magic.
Show youth who enter foster care on their own accord, not just being swept away by social care workers in the middle of the night.
Portray the complexity of the system, the pros and the cons.
Reflect the success stories of foster care youth aging out of the system to encourage more and change the way we are seen by the public.
Elexus Hunter
Founder of Tragic is Magic
Edited by Colleen Russo Johnson, PhD
Senior Fellow of the Center for Scholars and Storytellers
This blog series is supported in part by the UCLA Pritzker Center for Strengthening Children and Families.
Let Love Define Family: Portraying a Modern Generation of Foster Parents
Let Love Define Family:
Portraying a Modern Generation of Foster Parents
Media content has the power to shape perceptions and views on a mass scale. Unfortunately, media portrayals of youth in foster care are often negative and perpetuate unhelpful stereotypes. In this special blog series, The Center for Scholars and Storytellers is exploring this topic from multiple perspectives to inform and inspire the creation of accurate, empowering, and socially responsible media portrayals of foster care.
Just as there are many destructive stereotypes about youth in foster care, there are countless misperceptions of the type of people who become foster parents and their underlying motivations. From the perfect, savior, do-good foster couple, to the careless, mean foster parent who is only in it for the money, these unhelpful stereotypes prevent everyday people from seeing themselves as a foster parent, thus reducing the options for children waiting for a family. This is particularly problematic when it comes to media portrayals, as it helps to “see it to be it.” Indeed, in the previous post in this special foster care series, a foster parent noted how they are typically portrayed as either “perfect people” or “system milkers.”
Why is this critical? From talking to countless foster care professionals in the United States and Canada, it’s clear that their number one problem is a shortage of foster parents, particularly from minority groups. Therefore, we flagged this as one of the most important topics to communicate to content creators. Because media has immense power to influence behaviors, portraying foster parents and the motivations behind fostering in a relatable, positive, and realistic way could inspire viewers to consider being foster parents themselves. As Marianne Guilfoyle, Chief Innovations Officer at LA-based Allies for Every Child states, “Media has the ability to drive home the notion-- if not you, then who will answer the call to meet the need of the children in your community?”
More specifically, we need to reach and mobilize a new generation of foster parents. This is the mission behind the LA-based non-profit organization Raise a Child, where they are urging people to “reimagine foster parents.” I spoke with the organization’s founder, Rich Valenza, to learn more about his personal path to fostering and adoption, the goals of the organization, and the message he has for content creators. (Click here to see Valenza and his family featured as the first LGBTQ+ family featured on the annual CBS special, A Home for the Holidays.)
“At Raise a Child, our motto is, Let Love Define Family,” says Valenza. “There are no accidents or sudden decisions in fostering and adopting. You are planning a family and you chose those children. It’s truly a thing of love and acceptance, and it needs to be portrayed that way.”
Valenza suggests we need to “rebrand” what it means and looks like to be a foster parent. Indeed, today, more than ever before, there are countless new drivers for people to become foster parents and adopt through foster parenting. It is more than just heterosexuals couples who can’t conceive biologically who foster, and media content should reflect these modern realities. Foster parents range from same-sex couples wanting to build a family, to single men and women who don’t want to wait for a partner to start a family, to those who are environmentally conscious looking for a way to raise children without increasing their carbon footprint, to people driven by social justice who want to help elevate kids out of a repressive cycle to make a positive impact on thier community. As Ching-chu Hu and Jim Van-Reeth, multi-racial, well-educated, same-sex couple from Ohio who have adopted four children through the foster care system point out, “There is no more effective way to positively impact children and ultimately society as a whole.”
Speaking further to social justice, there are countless horrible circumstances for children around the world, and even in our own country, that often leave people feeling helpless. “People are justifiably outraged,” explain Hu and Van-Reeth. “Perhaps we can’t do anything about these things, but we can at least help out local children in the foster care system who are from broken homes and give them a fresh start. Helping out locally does positively affect the world.”
The system is also more progressive than some may think. For instance, Hu and Van-Reeth assumed that because they lived in a small, conservative town, they would have to adopt internationally. But during the adoption certification program, they noticed that representatives from the local county foster agency kept approaching them to chat. Being used to prejudice in other areas of their lives, they at first thought they were being further checked out to see if their motives to adopt were pure. It wasn’t until about halfway through the courses that they realized these agency workers were trying to convince them to work with the local foster care agency rather than adopt internationally. As they put it, “The foster care workers didn't see color or sexuality - they were simply evaluating based on capabilities.”
Similarly, going into the foster process Valenza expected to face some discrimnation as a single, gay man. Instead, leadership within LA County Foster Care quickly realized what an incredible foster father and advocate he was, and recruited him to help them encourage more people from the LGBTQ+ community to become foster parents -- the genesis of Raise a Child.
Actionable insights for content creators:
Depict relatable foster parents from a variety of backgrounds (e.g. race, culture, LGBTQ+) and family structure.
- Media that gets it right: A lesbian couple in The Fosters, An African-American couple in This is Us.
Include modern motivations for fostering. Examples include: single parents, same-sex parents, people driven by social justice and/or environmental reasons.
Colleen Russo Johnson, PhD
Senior Fellow of the Center for Scholars and Storytellers
This blog series is supported in part by the UCLA Pritzker Center for Strengthening Children and Families.
There’s More to the Picture: What the adults of Foster Care want content creators to know
“There’s More to the Picture”:
What the adults of Foster Care want content creators to know
Media content has the power to shape perceptions and views on a mass scale. Unfortunately, media portrayals of youth in foster care are often negative and perpetuate unhelpful stereotypes. In this special blog series, The Center for Scholars and Storytellers is exploring this topic from multiple perspectives to inform and inspire the creation of accurate, empowering, and socially responsible media portrayals of youth in foster care.
“I think most people don't really understand why someone would want to be a foster parent. They don't understand the positive effects a foster parent can have on a child and their birth family, and what they get back (emotionally) in return.”
When we think of foster care, we immediately picture children and teens. But for every youth in care, there are many adults directly attached, including birth parents, foster parents, and social care workers. So when we look at foster care portrayals in fictional media, it is critical to take a holistic look that includes how the adults within the system are depicted. To do so, we sought feedback from two foster parents (one male, one female) and two foster care professionals (both females in leadership roles at foster care agencies).
Can fictional media persuade (or dissuade) adults from becoming foster parents?
According to all four respondents, the answer is a resounding yes. But, it does go in both directions. One respondent stated that they believe the negative images in the media have contributed to the difficulty of recruiting foster parents, whereas the foster Dad said it was actually a positive portrayal of foster care in fictional media that initially inspired him to become a foster parent (he specifically noted the CBC special “A Home for the Holidays” and ABC’s “The Fosters”.)
It is difficult for people not involved with the foster care system to understand the motivations for becoming a foster parent. As one respondent stated, “There are some that think foster parents are doing it just for the money. I think most people don't really understand why someone would want to be a foster parent. They don't understand the positive effects a foster parent can have on a child and their birth family, and what they get back (emotionally) in return.”
The two men featured in our previous blog who were formerly in foster care noted additional motivations they perceived for adults wanting to become foster parents, including: feeling bad about the large number of children in care, wanting to help nurture a child while in retirement, a desire for children but an inability to have biological kids, or because they themselves were in foster care. To that point, one of the former foster youth said he would absolutely consider being a foster parent one day, saying “I was blessed to have been adopted to a loving family and I know the feeling of lost hope. Returning the favor or more importantly having the power to change someone’s life for the better is the ultimate dream”.
Unfortunately, misunderstandings regarding the type of people who become foster parents seep into media content, and can dissuade people from wanting to explore fostering. Indeed, another respondent noted how foster care parents are often represented as either “perfect people” or “system milkers”, which just further drives inaccurate stereotypes and prevents viewers from seeing themselves in those roles. Instead, foster care parents want to be “portrayed as multidimensional, from varied backgrounds and economic classes, motivated by caring for kids in care”, and “regular people who desire to help a child in need”.
When media gets it right. The movie “Instant Family” does a terrific job of showcasing “regular people” who decide to foster for a variety of reasons. The film honestly depicts the rollercoaster of emotions, including realistic doubt in their decision to foster. By portraying a relatable, imperfect, but well-intentioned couple, viewers are more likely to see themselves in that situation and consider becoming foster parents.
Overcoming the “evil child snatcher” trope of social workers
Social care workers have one of the most difficult jobs. One respondent mentioned how they are unfortunately part of an overall “failed system”, making their job seemingly impossible at times. Indeed, they are working within a confusing system, in rapidly changing and high-intensity situations. But our respondents noted that the general public really lacks an understanding of what foster care social workers actually do, other than “remove children from their homes”, and simply classify it as a “very difficult job that they themselves would not want to do”. This does not encourage people to enter the job, and media portrayals certainly do not help. Social care workers are often depicted as evil child snatchers or overly do-gooders that few can relate to. The reality is that they are well-intentioned, trained professionals who care about the well-being of children. It’s important that content creators capture this difficulty while still portraying social workers that have a good relationship with the foster youth in their care.
When media gets it right. The social care worker depicted in season three of the television drama “This Is Us” impressively captures the highs and lows of the job, and showcases the benefit of trust built between a worker and child in care.
Working towards a more compassionate lens on birth parents
Media portrayals of birth parents rarely stray from the stereotypes of, as one respondent explained, “bad people who have done horrible things to their children and don’t deserve the chance to make things right or parent their children ever again”, or simply put by another respondent, “awful people”.
The truth is, more often or not, these are people who have had a hard life and a spout of bad luck. Many people live paycheck to paycheck and could also easily fall into a difficult situation. Furthermore, the disease of addiction can become so overpowering that it consumes them and prevents them from being the parent they want to be at that time. They are flawed people, just like everyone.
Our respondents all expressed a desire to see birth parents shown in a more compassionate light. One respondent noted wanting to see them as less pathologized and caricatured. Another said “birth parents are often people with mental health issues, substance abuse problems, who come from their own dysfunctional families, and did not set out to hurt their children. They may not be able to parent them, but they do love them. And it is possible for people to change.” Another mentioned that “most birth parents do not intend to hurt or neglect their children, they over discipline for a myriad of reasons, they are addicted to drugs or homeless because they were barely making it to begin with and had an event that tipped the scales.”
When media gets it right. Season three of “This Is Us” depicts this nuanced role of a birth mother perfectly, showing the desire to be the mom both she (and her daughter) wanted her to be, but doomed by many factors including her own rough upbringing, addictions, and bad partners. Through it all, however, you could see that the love and admiration she had for her daughter was genuine.
Actionable insights for content creators:
Foster parent portrayal: Show relatable characters from a variety of backgrounds (including race, economic, sexual orientation, and cultural). Don’t shy away from them asking taboo questions that potential foster parents might have. Show a realistic experience of the foster parent experience-- the ups and the downs-- but strive for an overall positive outlook.
Social worker portrayal: Make an effort to show individuals who truly care about the child’s well being, and are doing their absolute best working in an extremely complex and sometimes failed system.
Birth parent portrayal: Avoid falling into stereotypes. Give the character the depth and compassion deserved that explains why he or she ended up in this position.
Colleen Russo Johnson, PhD
Senior Fellow of the Center for Scholars and Storytellers
This blog series is supported in part by the UCLA Pritzker Center for Strengthening Children and Families.
Upcoming foster care blog posts in this special series to explore:
Foster parent perspective, and how to encourage more
Features on media that “gets it right”
“We’re Not Broken”: What two former foster youth want content creators to know
“We’re Not Broken”
What two former foster youth want content creators to know
Media content has the power to shape perceptions and views on a mass scale. Unfortunately, media portrayals of youth in foster care are often negative and perpetuate unhelpful stereotypes. In this special blog series, The Center for Scholars and Storytellers is exploring this topic from multiple perspectives to inform and inspire the creation of accurate, empowering, and socially responsible media portrayals of youth in foster care.
“People would judge me based off of my situation of being in foster care and not based on who I was as a person. A lot of times it’s other children around you that are the most cruel. You are never given a fair chance to show your true colors.” -- Former foster youth
Children and teens in foster care constantly face judgments from others, solely based on their connection to foster care. How foster youth are portrayed in TV shows and movies impacts this perception-- both positively and negatively. The Center for Scholars and Storytellers is in the process of gathering insight from young adults who were previously in foster care. The following features two former foster youth, both men who are now in their early 20s and 30s.
Both men felt that the general public has negative impressions of youth in foster care, which mirror the unhelpful stereotypes they see perpetuated in TV shows and movies. When describing how they think people view foster youth, they used words such as:
Damaged
Helpless
Broken
Problematic
Heavily Traumatized
They felt that media portrayals of foster youth are overall negative, one-dimensional, and rife with damaging stereotypes.
“Most of the times foster children are portrayed in a negative way, as if they are problematic and troubled. In rare cases do you see them shown in a positive light.”
“A lot of stereotypes of what a foster youth is persists in mainstream media and for myself it becomes hard to watch popular shows or movies.”
One man mentioned that in his experience, white or lighter skinned foster children are more likely to be portrayed as ending up with a positive situation, whereas Latinos and African Americans are more often shown as aggressive and/or as criminals. It was also mentioned how the lack of diversity in portrayed foster youth has made it hard for him to relate to the characters.
One of the best ways to tackle this problem is to encourage former foster youth to get involved in the media content creation process. Not just as consultants informing the process, but as creators, writers, producers, directors, and more. One of the men even called this out, saying, “I don't think there's enough foster youth involved behind the scenes in creating and producing media content.”
Regarding one-dimensionality, it was mentioned how there isn’t enough nuance in the conflicting emotions foster youth have with the foster care system itself, let alone everything else happening in their life. The system is often portrayed negatively, which can deter people from getting involved in social work or as foster parents. There are many good things about the foster care system and people working in it that could be highlighted in media content.
“At its core, the foster care program starts from a good place with good intentions for mankind. It allows different people in need of love to unite. Whether you are an adult looking for a child to love, or a child or teen who is often heartbroken and at a loss of love.”
Foster youth have a lot to overcome. For instance, they lack a financial and emotional safety net due to constant moving between foster homes, schools, and sometimes states. This is something that other children often take for granted. When asked who they turn to when they need to talk to someone, both men said they rarely turn to anyone; “Unfortunately, a lot of times you subconsciously adopt the lifestyle of a lone wolf”. Feared consequences for even the smallest of venting, and continued worries of displacement contribute to this lack of trust in others.
But foster youth also learn to be extremely resilient, and both of these men have developed extremely positive outlooks. When asked to reflect on what he would tell his younger self, one man responded: “Great job ....you followed your heart you looked towards a better day and everything worked out.... I would not change anything.”
We also asked them what they would want to tell their future self, and the answers were truly beautiful and inspiring:
“I would say thank you for investing in your dream and not giving up when everyone told you the system is too big to question.”
“I would tell my future self always stay true to yourself and never forget where you came from nor the journey you took to reach the place you are now. If you are ever in a position to change someone’s life or even influence someone’s life for the better, give it your all even if its a complete stranger. I was once a complete stranger to the family I now love and the woman of my life I now call Mom!”
Seeing more positive depictions of youth in foster care can go a long way in changing the narrative around what it means to be a youth in foster care. Indeed both men spoke of their desire for a “better picture to be painted” when it comes to foster youth portrayal in media.
“Instead of broken, youth in foster care should be portrayed as survivors: strong, successful, and rejuvenated.”
Actionable Insights for Content Creators:
Avoid playing into negative stereotypes about foster care youth and instead focus on their strengths.
Portray realistic stories and representation by including those who have experienced the foster care system throughout the writing and production process.
Colleen Russo Johnson, PhD
Senior Fellow of the Center for Scholars and Storytellers
This blog series is supported in part by the UCLA Pritzker Center for Strengthening Children and Families.
Upcoming foster care blog posts in this special series to explore:
Foster parent perspective, and how to encourage more
Features on media that “gets it right”